Cx2 on.. Kids

If you know me, you know how I feel about children.
 This blog was never meant to go into our personal lives - just topics all could relate to and discuss but to set this one up, I must explain some personal changes I'm undergoing.

Recently reconnected with a guy I went to HS with; he's since been married, divorced and has custody of 2 lovely children: current ages 3 & 5, boy & girl respectively.

I have never been interested in children, thus never really been in tune with the idea of 'parenting'.

So as I become more involved in this relationship - I am working to figure out how parenting (esp the eventual idea of 'step-parenting') works.


I have started doing a lot of research on 'where should a child be at this point in their development?' Things like: potty training, ABCs, ability to read/write, etc...

Most parents will say, you'll know how and when to do/teach your kids things and what to expect. However, coming in at ages: 3/5.. I want to make sure I'm not expecting more than the kids should be doing.

Since it's so early in the relationship, it's too early to discuss with their father his stance on their development -- but I want to make sure I'm helping when I'm around without overstepping my bounds in my role.

Cx2 on.. [no subject]

Rumor has it .. we should FINALLY have some guest bloggers.. and maybe the other contributor will throw in his 2 cents if he finds time..

Regardless..

Here's the question I pose tonight..
Why do we lose touch after high school/college with the people who were so incredibly important to us?

My theory: our priorities simply change.

Friday night stops being about Happy Hour with your besties, to putting together the perfect slumber party snack and driving the kids to the mall and picking them up.

We become more about the family we are building, than the 'family' we once had.

We live for our jobs, worry about bills, the mortgage, lawns, garages and roofs... instead of Game Night and Power Hours.

We don't sit around doing nothing and loving it, we are suddenly so busy that we can't even take the time to e-mail each other.. we have to Facebook or send generic texts.

Make promises of, "Oh we must get together soon!" and find every reason not to.. "budget issues", "can't get the time off.." whatever.


My challenge to you:
Make plans. Set a date, and stick to it. You'll be glad you did.

Cx2 on.. Self control

It's amazing how much more simple things are when you exercise a little bit of self control.

With the beginning of Lent, we are reminded of this very blatantly. While I am not highly involved in any organized religion, I can still appreciate some basic principles.

*Allow me to note* I am NOT trying to make light of what some consider a very important concept and holiday. I am just trying to bring some ideas to the masses.

So Lent for most people is about giving something up for 40 days, but I think a bigger lesson we can all (religious and not) is the idea of self control throughout the year, not just 40 days out of it.

I am giving up soda for the 40 days. It's about doing something that makes you feel better. Soda has no good reason and no nutritional value. And like in my previous post; its about small steps to better yourself. You can't overhaul your entire diet and life and expect to be able to maintain it. Old habits die hard.

This goes for food and diet as well as in relationships.

We're all guilty of being tempted in life. Sometimes it's important to give into temptation, live every day as your last and enjoy it all. But other times, we really have to think about our actions and be responsible. Think about how these actions might affect other people in our lives.

I am just as guilty (if not more so) than others of breaking this rule (a lot more than I care to admit) in my past. However, part of growing up is learning about yourself and the mistakes you've made when you were younger and how to better yourself because of them.

Guilty of getting caught up in the 'this is MY life' concept, and not thinking of others. As I'm sure I've mentioned before, it's OK to be selfish, but like everything else in life.. in MODERATION.

When you start understanding how important the other people in your life really are; you start making decisions for them as well as yourself. It makes some decisions easier; and some entirely more difficult.

A recent visit to college (aka a one night stand with college life) reminded me so much of how much I've grown and how far some people have to go with the idea of "self control".

I guess the point I'm trying to drive home here is: it's ok to deviate from the norm and have fun and go a little crazy sometimes.. but consider WHO else your decisions effect as well as ask yourself, "where is the limit?" and "when does it cross the line into 'too much'?"
Also, can you enjoy yourself with the limits in place? If you can't, maybe you need to step back and evaluate your values and whats actually important to you in your life.

Cx2 on... New Year. Now what?

Making New Years resolutions seems so passe anymore. Yet I believe it is one tradition that has stood the test of time.
Every year people look forward to January 1 as a way to reinvent themselves and a new beginning.
There's always the usual resolutions: lose weight, quit smoking and spend more time with the family.
The question is: why don't they work?
The gyms make bank on memberships in January/February and infomercials pushing diet/exercise fads explode.
People need to make realistic goals for themselves and make baby steps to achieve these goals.
Maybe make monthly big goals such as:
January: join gym and go atleast 2x a week.
February: 3x a week and eat smaller portions
March: 4x a week and add more veggies instead of chips for a snack

Making specific goals with deadlines will help avoid the procrastination issue. You'll feel a sense of accomplishment when you make even the small goals.
Its important to not only change old bad habits but MAKE new GOOD habits. You can't change over night but small goals might be the best way to a new you.

For the smokers it works the same. Rather than cold turkey January 1. Maybe its a %. Jan: Smoke 90% of what I used to.

Feb: 80%
March: 70% and so on til you've kicked it.

I think sometimes we want something so bad we go to ridiculous extremes. Like going to the gym and maxing out the first 2 weeks of January and expecting to lose 20lbs by February.

Its important to be real with yourself about what you can feasibly do. And realize changes take TIME.

Its also important to make changes for YOURSELF not just for others. If you change yourself for someone else, you're putting unnecessary pressure on yourself as well as the other person. And especially in the case of a significant other or spouse, if they leave -- you are more apt to go back to those bad habits.

However it is vital to have the support of the people around you and loved ones to keep you on track and motivated to succeed. If you have someone in your life who might benefit or made the same goal as you - work together to support each other. You won't feel so alone during rough patches. Having someone else right there with you will create an atmosphere of positive energy and mutual support.

I realize it IS February now, and this would be a better topic for January -- however this is how I roll.

Best of luck on achieving your goals and bettering yourself.

Papa Paparazzi

Ok- I need to get this off my chest...


I




love...


Lady Gaga.

I'm sorry if that comes as a huge disappointment, but I think she is fucking brilliant.

Did you SEE her performance at the VMAs?

(If you didn't, here's the link)


She is just so out there, but creative. Genius. With a world that is so worried about being politically correct, and so into what is acceptable dress and actions.. she's just.. unique. I love it.




As for my current thoughts on adulthood..

Are adults ever happy? Like really, when do you finally sit down and say, "I am finally content with my life." ??


Cause I'd love to know. It could be, and probably is my impatience speaking here.




Also.. South Park.. Ike possessed by Michael Jackson... INCREDIBLE! You should watch that too.


Um.. my thoughts on SAW 6. (Allow me to concur with the MemoPad feature on my iPod .. which since I was the only person in the theater I was allowed to use freely throughout the movie.)

• Eddie Winslow? HAHAHA
• Cheesy reporter chick.. wtf? Way to play on the whole "sexy girl if she took her glasses off" fantasy for all the men in the audience
• The winner of the Scream Queen was actually pretty decent
• "When you're killing me, YOU LOOK AT ME!"

Bought those rock-y exercise shoes. Day 1: my calves and thighs feel pretty good. The arch supports in those things are epic.

Cx2 on.. Self - perception

"If he had let himself believe he was being cruel to Celia he couldn't have done it.... He was, like many brutally honest men, dishonest about himself. He thought himself a finer fellow than he really was..."

- "Unfinished Portrait" by Mary Westmacott (Agatha Christie)

So I stole this from a friend's note on Facebook; but it really struck me.

It's hard to gauge how we are perceived by people because we have this idea of ourselves and either we hold ourselves to be better than we are, or we beat ourselves down and think we are worse than we are.

This is why honesty in relationships is SO important, because sometimes it takes a kick in the head for us to realize we're completely oblivious of how we're treating the people in our lives.

Think about it.

Welcome

Drew & I collaborated on this new project.

Our thoughts on the world around us, topic by topic.. issue by issue.. story by story..

So pass this link on. Make comments.

What issues plague you? What things do you want us to discuss? What burning questions do you have that our great minds can answer?

Goodman be with you.